Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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