so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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