Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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