We tried having a conversation with our noses.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
