I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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