Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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