I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
