Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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