ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish