I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
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That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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