her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.