YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.