Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
