the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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