You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
