best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
please come you make the beer taste better
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
