remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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