i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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