i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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