Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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