rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
