What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
