dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
