I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
