this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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