who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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