he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Non-Jews are for practice
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
