the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize