I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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