my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
