shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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