He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
