he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
