What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
