she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
