I bet he comes in French.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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