butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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