Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
