The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
