Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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