Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
