We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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