whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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