we're chasing vodka with high fives
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
