So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
