i jhust puked up my retainher.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
