I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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