What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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