No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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