my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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