I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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