they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
