shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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