you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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