Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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