I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
