dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
