So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
