so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
