Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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