I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
