You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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