We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
